January can be a confounding time for women. No sooner have the Christmas crackers been put away than thoughts turn to burning calories and starting detoxes as we scan the newsstands. ‘Why can’t I just watch the tennis/read my new Jodi Picoult/think on Noam Chomsky’s revolutionary pacificism in peace?’ you think.

Celebrity cook Julie Goodwin is taking it all in her stride. She posed for New Idea in her swimsuit, unkind things were said, and she resolved to remind us all that we are not defined by our body shape. “I am grateful to my body for the three children it has given me, for its strength and ability to work long hard hours, and for its robust good health… I will live my life as fully and joyfully as each day allows, with the body God gave me in all its magnificent imperfection,” she wrote on her blog.

Fist pump!

A calm resolve to NOT BUY INTO the dieting jargon, the weight-loss mumbo jumbo, the calorie crap will do you well. Bury your head in your Jodi Picoult! Channel the Chomsky! But if, unlike Julie, you do not possess such resolve, nor the humble acceptance of the body God gave you, your vulnerabilities may flair up during beach season.

How does one go about combating the landscape without requesting that the newsagent ‘Please remove all scaremongering materials’; that the current affairs shows lay off the weight loss infotainment; that the pretty young things at the beach cover up? How do you annihilate the deflating feeling that your body is not quite up to scratch (and who’s marking out the pitch, anyway?).

By holding fast to the truth. Did Jesus die for sinners just so we could get thinner, or, indeed, gorge on our inadequacies and insecurities? I don’t think so.

But, hello, there they are. The battle scars. The weighty stumbling blocks pulling us towards memories, perhaps, of one time in our lives when we were not in shippy-shippy shape (whether too light or too heavy for our bodies to bear), or the self-loathing that followed when someone was so unkind as to point it out or shout, “Hey, eat a hamburger!” or “Hey, lay off the hamburgers!”), or maybe the thought, seared into your soul, that your looks matter most of all.

All this stuff needs to be put in its rightful place: the wheelie bin of your life. David killed Goliath with a sling shot, and you too can conquer your Goliath. You just have to believe it can be true. And here’s the rub: PERFECT LOVE CASTS OUT FEAR.

Fear of man’s rejection and woman’s; fear of gaining weight; fear of losing your way; fear of past mistakes and future ones, too; fear of people not liking who you really are; fear of allowing your body to be how it naturally wants to be; fear that you will go back to how you were or, perhaps, will never get to where you want to be. Fear schmear.

Perfect love wants what’s best for you; perfect love allows you the freedom to be who you were created to be; perfect love keeps no record of wrongs; perfect love calms the storms; perfect love does not poke fun; perfect love does not show off; perfect love recognises you are human; perfect love picks you up when you are down; perfect love does not burden you with unreasonable expectations; perfect love takes your hand and leads you to places of peace; perfect love enables you to revel in God’s glory; perfect love never runs out, never fails you.

But, to get to the root of it all, to experience the perfect love that conquers all fears and inhibitions, inadequacies and insecurities – before you can genuinely go out into the world firing off sling-shots at every deflating image and remark – you need to do some work. You have the absolute RIGHT to live a full and flourishing life and to look your very best for the very purpose you were given for being here. Did you know that? I hope you do. If you don’t know and feel this with all your heart, let’s make a start.

God loved you SO MUCH that he sent his only Son to die for you. This was so you could have a personal and deeply satisfying relationship with him, the supplier of all your needs; for love, for acceptance, for comfort, for peace, for direction, for shelter, clothes, food – for every single thing. With this in mind, with it filtering throughout your thinking and your body, it’s safe to turn to thoughts of, ‘Well, if God loves me, I must be alright, so I will look after myself.’

What God doesn’t want is for you to live in a perpetual state of self-punishment. To give into demands on your body, mind and time that keep you apart from Him and his perfect will for your life. That will only lead you into strife. Trust me, I’ve been there. I have the lingering battle scars, too: the thinner hair, the weaker bones, the question mark over fertility. BUT, even if you stray from the path, even if you give into the world’s ridiculous message that you must be thin, thin, thin, God can restore you to full and glowing health. I KNOW this to be true.

It requires partnership with him, and some further work, too. I personally had to get down to the nitty gritty stuff; the beginnings of the self-loathing and the constant need for affirmation. The seeking out for a mother’s love and approval. The covering over anxieties fed by the thought that I would have to look after myself, that I would have to be the very best at things, that I would have to be ace all the time; that I felt wretched because I had done things that made me feel like a very bad person. Exhausting. (If you’re not exhausted yet, read more about it here).

Stage two of my experience required a complete rebuilding of my thinking. Each ridiculous thought about food being replaced by something more beneficial. Starting each day saying, “God, I know you will provide for all my needs”, including food and the opportunity to move (some days this might be a stroll, others a run, maybe a swim in the pool, maybe cleaning the house; just something). I learned to allow myself to sleep in. BUT, God also gave me an opportunity disguised in an injury: I was forced off my feet for months and months. And, yet, I am still able to complete a 10k run.

The eating thing has been somewhat harder: friend and foe and source of such woe! Used to be that I could control my world through consumption; then, in the depths of despair, I could punish myself through imbibing everything in sight. But an opportunity again knocked to help me realign my approach to food (not faultless). I got gastro.

All I could eat was toast and tea. That breaking of routine was the absolute key. I learned to appreciate every morsel that passed my lips and didn’t make me want to run to the toilet. The deliciousness of butter on bread. In a way, it was like a fast – God allowed me, in breaking with my habitual nature, to take a sneak peek at what allowing him to provide for our daily diet – just enough – looks like.

However, I have had to stay vigilant. If my mindset comes under the control of the vagaries of life, of feeling like I should be doing this or that and I am not, it is easy to stumble and fall. To feed one’s gob with food instead of turning to God, instead of getting on one’s knees and seeking his direction, his calm, is an easy thing to do. Food is all around us, haven’t you noticed? But food is good, it fuels the brain and spirit. To have it and enjoy it, and not fear it, is liberating. That is a practised act of faith, and it is its own reward.

And herein another step: if you are a woman of faith, then your source for all things must be God. The minute you step into thinking that you must strive to deliver for yourself – self care, self will – you step out of God’s provision for you. He’s got it covered. Don’t be so bothered. Yes, attend to the tasks he’s assigned to you, and do them well, but don’t beat yourself up with a stick if they’re not completed, if family calls and takes you away from work, if someone is on your back, if you are forced to take it easy for a while to get your health on track – turn to God, look up to him and say, “I resolve to do it your way.”

Keeping up with the Jones’ (bikini babes, celebrities and weight-loss evangelists) is half the problem. When we take our focus of the unique bodies, the unique lives, the unique work, family, friends, community, hobbies and pleasures that God has given each of us, and turn instead to images and ideas created by the media, we become weaker. Don’t let popular sentiments get in the way of your right to a full and flourishing life tailored just for you according to God’s best precepts.

Have you seen the Bupa healthcare ads on television or in the magazines? I can most certainly identify with them. Look after what God has given you; it is a right given to you by Christ. Seek help if you need it, but resolve to do what’s best for you; and only you. When you are functioning at your best, and accepting who you were made to be, you will be a beautiful carrier of Christ’s message of peace and love and salvation for the world, and more able to function in the way he intended for you: body, mind, soul and spirit in perfect alignment with his will.

Erica Bartle is a blogger, journalist and teacher. She left her glossy magazine career behind in 2007 after finding God and a husband and has since been blogging her thoughts at GirlWithaSatchel.com. She has taught writing at QUT and pens stories for assorted media. She lives on Mount Tamborine with her husband, two dogs and horse. While she admits the process of “becoming a Christian” has often been difficult, she can imagine being nothing else in this life or the next.

I took the boys on an excursion to the local garden centre and we were off and running.  The boys were into the project choosing all kinds of ‘leaves’ for us to grow, lettuce, spinach, herbs, tomatoes, and even eggplants.  Before long there was a patch of our back yard that for a moment at least, looked like something straight out of ‘Better Homes and Gardens’.  It all seemed so easy. But that moment didn’t last like long. Why is it that things are never as easy as you think they should be?

First came the white moths.  These pretty terrorists attacked every green leaf with stealth and precision.  Within a couple of hours my flourishing basil was reduced to a few limp stems.  I sent the boys out on moth patrol to act as little scare crows and shoo the moths away, but it was just too late for the basil.  May it rest in peace.

Then came the snails.  I used to have a fondness for snails and their slow and steady ways. Not any more.  In one night they reduced my spinach to a few bare stalks with their razor sharp mouths (their mouths actually contain thousands of tiny razor sharp teeth, the boys and I since learned from Wikipedia). No matter how angry I was with the snails I just couldn’t bring myself to kill them. The only option it seemed was rounding them up into bags and putting them into the recycling bin. So in addition to moth patrol, the boys were assigned snail duty.

I was so conflicted. This project was supposed to make me at one with nature, instead it seemed we were at war!  I decided to persevere when I saw the purple skin of my first eggplant.  Every day I tracked its progress and marveled at its developing form. Only to find it was crawling with caterpillars. It seems the white moths weren’t just eating my vegies they were spawning on them as well! Caterpillar patrols were added to the moth patrols and snail duty and the collected caterpillars met the same fate as the snails.  The recycling bin was overflowing.  No wonder organic vegies cost so much.  Pulling grubs out of eggplants is hard work!

With summer’s end approaching I’m finding it hard to give a grade to the project. My boys still don’t eat ‘leaves’ but they have leaned a lot about bugs.  My tomatoes may look deformed but they taste like heaven.  Sadly the basil didn’t last the distance but I have rocket and mint coming out of my ears, and my greatest joy every morning is harvesting fresh herbs and tomatoes from my garden to make an omelet.  The only way that omelet could taste any better would be if the eggs were laid by my very own hens.  The thought did cross my mind but a red-bellied black snake has taken up residence in our neighbourhood and according to Wikipedia they have a liking for eggs. No matter how ‘Steve Irwin’ like my boys are, I just wouldn’t feel comfortable sending them out on snake patrol and I’m not sure the recycling bin could handle it either.

Janine Kubala is a healing evangelist and author and in 2008 founded Kubala Ministries with her husband Andrew.  She is part of C3 Oxford Falls and lives on the Northern Beaches of Sydney with Andrew and their boys Sam and Jonny.  You can follow her at www.kubalaministries.org/

This snail wasn't going down without a fight!

I’m an etiquette consultant, I teach manners and stuff, so there is scant room in my life for those who prioritise other frivolities.

Don’t get me wrong, there is place for education, cooking skills and the ability to spot at gem at the op shop, but when did we stop insisting on the basics?

“Please” and “thank you” were once staples in the home, distributed with the frequency of vegemite sandwiches and tomato sauce soaked fish fingers.  I believe I may have even once looked forward to a time when I would be called, “Mrs Musson”, by my juniors, but sadly, that day has not come.  As I thunder towards 40, I fear the next time I’m called it may be in the nursing home… (finally by someone younger)!

So ladies, in the interests of being fabulous, truly dignified LADIES, here are some of my gems, that I would like to share with you.

PS theses are all FREE!

1. Use “please” and “thank you” almost like punctuation.  When you order coffee, pick up dry cleaning, at the checkout.  It is the universal sweetener and should complete most sentences, thank you.

2. Teach this to your children, no “please”, no drink, no exceptions.

3. “Excuse me” for everything else, bodily noises, bumping into one another, passing things at the table, staring too long at the landscape gardener…

4. Ladies keep their shoulders covered – especially at work.  I understand those in warmer climates may not appreciate this point, however unless you are wearing a party dress or a long dress, a lady keeps her shoulders covered.

5. Be a clean skin.  Tattoos and piercings in places other than ear lobes can make a person look rough and trashy – ooh this is getting controversial!

6. Shoulders back!  Check yourself out in the mirror and check if you are actually standing as tall as you could.  When we are standing correctly, our boobs are out, our stomachs are in and we are 2cms taller – that’s worthwhile wouldn’t you say?

7.  Wear a dress.

8. When leaving the table, any table, push your chair in.

9. Profer the “thank you” wave when someone lets you in in traffic, (even if you think you created that gap yourself).  Also, a half decent person says “thank you” in some form when a car has stopped for you at the crossing.

10. If someone brings a bottle of wine to your home it is a gift, you are not obligated to serve it.

There is a rule for everything and for everything, a rule.  That’s life, embrace it, enjoy it, teach it to your children.

In the words of Dolly Parton, “I am not offended by dumb blonde jokes, firstly because I am not dumb, and secondly, I’m not blonde”.

Anna Musson has rapidly become the etiquette expert for modern Australians.  She is a fresh and vibrant speaker who is considered the top commentator and presenter for etiquette and modern manners in Australia.

Beginning her career with June Dally-Watkins, in 2007 Anna founded The Good Manners Company.

Working with a variety of sporting codes and sporting institutions, Anna’s clients include the AFL, the NRL, Rugby Union and The Institute of Sport where athletes complete etiquette and protocol training as they prepare for overseas Games and Olympics.  Celebrities, corporate firms and executives are also clients, who embrace the correct way of operating in business and socially.

Specialising in business and social etiquette, grooming and image management, Anna’s dynamic personality is evident in her training style.  Her sessions are engaging, humourous and unique.

These events paint a stark picture for us of life: of the vagaries and victories. As we make our way into the new year, it’s wise to reflect on the course we are charting, repairs that may need to be made to the ships we’re sailing and the final destination.

For those of us in the fleet who follow Christ, it’s a comfort to think we are all headed towards the same finish line. But while the navigation system, the map, the basic structure of the boat and the power that propels us along may be the same, the course we choose, the model and make of the boat, our crews and our cargo can look quite different. So too can the storms we encounter and the pace at which we travel.

We are all at different stages in the race.

Christians are not promised a safe passage through life, but we are given guidance as to how to build the most resilient ships as well as Jesus’ guarantee that faith in Him will calm the storms that inevitably blow in. How can we best ensure our ships righteous passage through life? When, like Noah, God’s faithful friend, we deem to build our arks in accordance with God’s wishes and precise instructions.

After becoming a Christian, I thought my ship was tip-top tight, but I soon discovered that there was a lot of worthless cargo stored below that threatened to sink me (I was very nearly shipwrecked). When we endeavour to unburden ourselves of such things – physical, mental and emotional – we feel more able to sail smoothly. We are less rigid. We keep afloat. We love, forgive and live more easily.

Peter writes, “His divine power has given us everything we need for life and godliness…For this very reason, make every effort to ass to your faith goodness; and to goodness, knowledge; and to knowledge, self-control; and to self-control, perseverance; and to perseverance, godliness; and to godliness, brotherly kindness; and to brotherly kindness, love. For if you possess these qualities… they will keep you from being ineffective and unproductive.” (2 Peter 1: 3-8).

The structural foundations are very important. A complete transformation of your thinking, doing and being is no easy task; but God gives us grace as we go about it. And as each unnecessary thing is cast off, in faith and humble obedience, something more worthy takes its place. I am living proof that God restores, redeems and re-purposes those who acknowledge him and love him.

“I will always be with you to save you; my presence will protect you on every side,” he told the Israelites. “When you pray, I will answer you. When you call to me, I will respond… I will always guide you and satisfy you with good things. I will keep you strong and well. You will be like a garden that has plenty of water, like a spring of water that never runs dry.”

A wretched girl confounded by anxiety and ambition and the need for approval and the controlling, diminishing influences of the world? God would not have a bar of it. “What did you gain from doing the things you are now ashamed of?” asked Paul (Colossians 6:21). Nothing. Am I perfect? Far from it; but he’s done a mighty work.

God asks us to give things up to free ourselves for more of him. Choosing to abide in God’s plan for our lives is a great act of faith that will bear rewards, though not necessarily what we imagined: he won’t give us what we want, but what we need.

Like me, you may have to completely rebuild your boat, or you may need to make some repairs, as the scratches and bumps of the past year have left you feeling a bit wounded. Some of us might need to clean off the crusty old barnacles of resentments, disappointments and rigid ways of thinking. Perhaps you just need a bit of a spit and polish (good for you!)?

How do we go about doing the clean-up job so we can get on track for 2012?

1. Ditch the unnecessary cargo. Repent of any lingering sin (confess to a friend if that helps) and endeavour to make amends. If God is asking you to let go of something in your life, do it. Ditch it. You don’t need it. Don’t burden yourself with guilt if you find it hard to let something go, but know that as you aim to make reparations and sacrifices, God will give you the power to bring them to completion.

2. Build your ship on blocks of righteousness. God’s way always works (see Noah) and if you seek him out He will give you precise advice. For instructions, see the Bible. “I have given you my power and my teachings to be you forever.” (Isaiah 59:21)

3. Take the right crew and cargo on board. We all need people in our lives, “sailing rock stars”, who believe in us and will give us their unfailing support. Additionally, the world is all-too willing to sell you cheap imitation stuff; pack the good stuff into your life. This is everything from food that will give you the energy and sustenance to achieve what’s ahead, to the movies and TV you watch in your home.

4. Stay your course. Be less concerned with what others are doing, and eschew blueprints for your life that don’t quite fit who you are, who God created you to be for His divine purposes. Has God shown you that you should buy property, change jobs, commence a university course, spend less time on your career and invest more into your relationship, look after your health, create a new business or rekindle a much-loved activity? Don’t be distracted by what the other ships are doing; it’s your life, and for you and God to plan out.

5. Coat the hull with love. Going through life as if it’s you against the world is not much fun. People will disappoint you, they will let you down. Don’t let that take the wind out of your sails. Be quick to forgive wrongs, as Jesus forgives yours, and choose how to react to everyone and every situation. Be a bridge builder, not a destroyer. As a Christian, you have a constant source of love, and this free gift should be willingly bestowed on others. “Whoever loves is a child of God and knows God.” (1 John 4:7)

6. Keep your eyes on the destination. You know the end goal – getting there is about pleasing God with your thoughts, words and actions, and resolving to accept his grace and mercy when needed.

Though we may come across rocky seas, or make a choice that takes us off course, when we are able to hand the wheel over to Jesus and confidently say, “You’re the captain of my ship”, we are less troubled, less fearsome about the world, and live in a quiet confidence. I hope you enjoy charting your way through 2012.

Erica Bartle is a blogger, journalist and teacher. She left her glossy magazine career behind in 2007 after finding God and a husband and has since been blogging her thoughts at GirlWithaSatchel.com. She has taught writing at QUT and pens stories for assorted media. She lives on Mount Tamborine with her husband, two dogs and horse. While she admits the process of “becoming a Christian” has often been difficult, she can imagine being nothing else in this life or the next.

*This is an adaptation of a sermon given at Liberty Baptist Church, Mount Tamborine, on January 15, 2012.

escendingly, with the confidence of one that is child-free (…and yes she was childless – I checked).  Pffftt!  Just gimme the drugs and make it industrial strength!!

The reality of travel is that it can rise and fall on the quality of your travel companions…and travel can bring out the worst in people!  Luckily, twin A and twin B behaved beautifully, and charmed the metaphorical pants off the Emirates staff.   But imagine the challenge of work as a flight attendant.  I admire these travel professionals who must see it all, and maintain a sense of humour in the midst of a demanding job.

As an ode to these great people, check out these humorous in-flight announcement as posted on the travel site www.eyeflare.com:

“Weather at our destination is 50 degrees with some broken clouds, but they’ll try to have them fixed before we arrive. Thank you, and remember, nobody loves you or your money more than Southwest Airlines.”

As the plane landed and was coming to a stop at Washington National, a lone voice came over the loudspeaker: “Whoa, big fella. Whoa!”

After a particularly rough landing during thunderstorms in Chicago, a flight attendant on a Northwest flight announced: “Please take care when opening the overhead compartments because, after a landing like that, sure as hell everything has shifted.”

From a Southwest Airlines employee: “There may be 50 ways to leave your lover, but there are only 4 ways out of this airplane.”

From a Southwest Airlines employee: “Welcome aboard Southwest Flight XXX to Chicago. To operate your seatbelt, insert the metal tab into the buckle, and pull tight. It works just like every other seatbelt and if you don’t know how to operate one, you probably shouldn’t be out in public unsupervised. In the event of a sudden loss of cabin pressure, oxygen masks will descend from the ceiling. Stop screaming, grab the mask, and pull it over your face. If you have a small child traveling with you, secure your mask before assisting with theirs. If you are traveling with two small children, decide now which one you love more.”

After landing: “Thank you for flying Delta Business Express. We hope you enjoyed giving us the business as much as we enjoyed taking you for a ride.”

“Your seat cushions can be used for flotation. In the event of an emergency water landing, please take them with our compliments.”

“As you exit the plane, please make sure to gather all of your belongings. Anything left behind will be distributed evenly among the flight attendants. Please do not leave children or spouses.”

After a real crusher of a landing in Phoenix, the flight attendant got on the PA and said, “Ladies and gentlemen, please remain in your seats until Captain Crash and the crew have brought the aircraft to a screeching halt up against the gate. And, once the tire smoke has cleared and the warning bells are silenced, we’ll open the door and you can pick your way through the wreckage to the terminal.”

“Last one off the plane must clean it.”

From the pilot during his welcome message: “We are pleased to have some of the best flight attendants in the industry. Unfortunately none of them are on this flight.”

This was overheard on an American Airlines flight into Amarillo, Texas, on a particularly windy and bumpy day. During the final approach, the captain was really having to fight it. After an extremely hard landing, the flight attendant came on the PA and announced, “Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to Amarillo. Please remain in your seats with your seatbelts fastened while the captain taxis what’s left of our airplane to the gate!”

An airline pilot wrote that on this particular flight he had hammered his ship into the runway really hard. The airline had a policy which required the first officer to stand at the door while the passengers exited, smile, and give them a, “Thanks for flying XYZ airline.” He said that in light of his bad landing, he had a hard time looking the passengers in the eye, thinking that someone would have a smart comment. Finally, everyone had gotten off except for this little old lady walking with a cane. She said, “Sonny, did we land or were we shot down?”

Another flight attendant’s comment on a less than perfect landing: “We ask you to please remain seated as Captain Kangaroo bounces us to the terminal.”

Part of a flight attendant’s arrival announcement: “We’d like to thank you folks for flying with us today. And, the next time you get the insane urge to go blasting through the skies in a pressurized metal tube, we hope you’ll think of us here at US Airways.”

New Years Resolution #2: Exercise everyday

New Years Resolution #3: Try NOT to clean my house everyday

Hmmmm…these are all good things for me to achieve.  But I’m looking for life changing.  I NEED life changing.  What I need and I suspect what you do too, are not more New Years Resolutions but a New Years Revolution!

Our wise, television friend, Dr. Phil says that the definition of

Insanity –  to keep doing the same thing while expecting different results 

I beg my pardon.  I don’t mean to suggest that I, or even you, are insane!  But 2012 has the potential to be no different to 2011 or 2010, unless we plan for it to be so.

God says it rather more cleverly than our friend Dr. Phil. Proverbs 29:18 states that ‘Where there is no vision, the people perish’.  It gets worse than insanity!  Without a plan, we perish.  The best definition of

Perish – to disappear gradually 

Our sense of purpose will disappear, our sense of direction and eventually our hope.

Don’t aim for nothing in 2012.  You might just achieve it!  Dream a vision instead.  Have a plan.  Set some goals.

Cradled carefully on the top of my bookshelves is an eclectic collection of about a dozen journals.  Each one contains my life for that year.  Well at least the parts I was brave enough to write down!  At the beginning of each book you will find a set of goals for that year.

I encourage you to do the same!  There’s no rules, no guidelines for goal setting.  Let it be as organic, raw and original as you are.

Over the years, mine have swung from the lofty and ambitious ‘I want to be a history maker’ (Journal 2002) to the trivial and personal ‘to afford a side yard fence for our house’ (Journal 2001).  I’ve penned goals for my husband (and it wasn’t a wish list, lol!) and set goals for my children (like them accepting Jesus as their personal Lord and Saviour, to making good friends at Kindy).  I’ve been honest.  I’ve been real.  And one year turns to two and two years turns to three and so on.  The collection of pages in those dozen journals makes up the vision for my life.  I’ve lived with purpose and direction.  I have no regrets.  It’s not a good idea.  It’s a God idea.  He’ll breathe on your words and turn them into life.

Be prayerful when you set them and continue to revisit them during the year. If you need a jog in the right direction to get you started, consider setting goals in some of the following areas

• personal improvements
• family relationships
• the spiritual side of you
• friendships
• careers you’d like to try
• leisure activities you’d like to get involved in
• things you want to learn
• people you’d like to meet
• ways you can serve your community/country

Start today.  It will do more than revolutionise your year.  It will revolutionise your life.

X x Renee Bennett

According to Dr Leman, internationally known Christian psychologist, birth order powerfully influences who you are, whom you’ll marry, the job you choose and what kind of parent you are.  The aim of this book is to help you to understand yourself better and improve your relationships with others – your spouse, your kids, your friends and your co-workers.

The book is genuinely filled with ‘a-ha’ moments as you read through your personal birth order position.  It feels somewhat like Dr Leman has been peering through your bedroom window as he unfailingly describes your behavior traits, arguing style with your spouse, your insecurities and your strengths.  Having done so, he then outlines how to make your birth order work best for you.

Equally valuable are the parenting chapters, helping parents better understand their child’s traits and triggers and how to use this knowledge to pre-empt behavioral issues.  Sensitive worrier, quiet scholar and outrageous ratbag – the author pegs them all!

Marriage also comes under the microscope as Dr Leman looks at how different birth orders combine in a marriage relationship.  The reader may squirm a little as the author presents some of the difficulties faced by certain combinations (oh yes ‘first born v’s first born’ – we’re talking to you!), but there are great observations about the workability of even the most challenging combination, with fantastic tips on conflict resolution.

Dr Leman charmingly offers up his three-generational family as the perfect model for all the challenges the modern family faces, and then shows the reader the effectiveness of applying the birth order lessons.

Written for the layman, jargon free and humorous, ‘The Birth Order Book’ is a great way to better understand yourself and your loved ones.

WHERE DO I GET IT?

AMAZON :

KOORONG:

WHAT WILL IT COST?  RRP $13.95

IF YOU LIKE THIS, YOU’LL LOVE:  ‘Have a New Kid By Friday’ by Dr Kevin Leman